*bastille voice* how am i gonna be an optimist about this
do you see this, son? this is an screenshot from my old blog back in ‘13. look how many followers i had. yes im sorry that we’re living on the streets son but at least your dad was funky fresh back in his blogging days
Why is this not taught universally.
me: goes to lowes
lowes man: how can I help you son
me: first of all I am not your son. second of all im only here because I love the thick stench of wood fibers and industrial chemicals
Top 3 phrases that’ll create sexual tension
- "Make me",
- "oh really",
- "is that so"
"What’s in it for me?"
"The Black Death was one of the most devastating pandemics in human history, resulting in the deaths of an estimated 75 to 200 million people and peaking in Europe in the years 1348–50 CE."
Especially the last one damn
I SWEAR TO GOD THERE IS A GIRL IN MY CLASS WHO CAN READ MY THOUGHTS SHE’S ALWAYS LOOKING AT ME FUNNY WHEN IM THINKING INAPPROPRIATE THINGS SO I SAID IN MY HEAD “START LAUGHING IF YOU CAN HEAR ME” AND SHE STARTED LAUGHING IM SCARED?????
This is either a plot for a new X-Men movie or a Stephen King novel.
i wish noah had swatted the two mosquitoes from his ark
now i’m not saying you’re an idiot but everyone else is
if you have nothing good to say say it
i hate stuart little and i don;t think he deserved 3 movies